I feel better about myself. Like something in my life was just accomplished. A mistake taken care of and prevented. I tricked myself, and then let it hurt me, and I was unprepared for what happened; surprised of my own stupidity. I was warned by those close to me, and most of all by myself, but I let my guard down, and paid for it dearly. Well, at first. Not anymore. It took me years to finally get myself hurt like that, and it will not happen again. I won't let it.

Besides all my recent emotional drama, I suppose I am now stressing again. I finally got into college, thank God, but now I have even more problems. Like extreme money issues, and trying to pay my bills. I guess I will find someway out of it. Might take some time, and extra work, but I have no choice. I suppose now that a certain 'trip' is taken out of my agenda, I can focus on school and work. After my Annual Training for the military I will get a job, because I need one to survive, there's really no getting around it now. These past months I have used so much money on something I thought was going to be a lifetime commitment, but ended in negative thoughts and bitter resentment. Menial costs like a passport I'm not going to use, materials for 'something' I made, calling cards on top of outrageous phone bills, other objects of supposed affection make up the most of it, besides all the time invested into what I thought was a good cause. Who knows, everyone does it, and I was a fool to let myself. I guess that's what happens when you misjudge yourself and those directly involved with you. Oh well, now I can focus on myself, my school, and my life, and never will I let someone insult my family, my life, or myself again. I don't believe in more chances, and now I don't believe in true love, but who does anymore? For someone to not respect my dignity or me as a person, they are not worth my time, and I am glad it is over now. Once the initial feelings of loss subsided, due to the help of some awesome friends and many thoughtful nights, I can safely say I will be a much happier person now, and will never let that person interfere in my life again. I feel as though I have passed onto a new stage in my life, one I can be comfortable in, and be myself, and I wouldn't sacrifice it for the world. I am now truly happy knowing I am where I always wanted to be, and that much more knowledgeable about myself and my strengths, as well as my weaknesses, which weren't what I originally thought they were. And if you ever read this again, If nothing else, thank you for opening my eyes and saving me from the mistake of a lifetime we were about to commit, you're not worth it, at least right now you're not, I was wrong.